There’s infidelity, domestic violence, and drug and alcohol abuse. Great relationship wreckers. And then there are the subtler ways we move apart. Are you avoiding connecting? In the last blog I talked about internet porn as a means of cyber cheating but does it really matter whether it’s a movie on HBO or The Story of O? Are you using television as an excuse to spend less time with your mate? Working long hours at the office? Spending late nights on the web? Are you avoiding intimacy by getting up and going to bed at different times? Do you have your fun with your friends and do the chores with your spouse? Is golf on Saturday mornings keeping you from your family? Are drinks with the girls keeping you from dinner at home? None of these pastimes are wrong in and of themselves but they are exits, a term coined by the couples guru, Harville Hendrix. You’ve got to identify and close the exits before any improvement in the relationship can be made. Now, don’t get defensive but take an honest look at your exits. Only you know what pastimes are pulling your relationship apart and which are meeting basic needs for alone time. Make a list of 50 ways you leave your lover without ever breaking up. Turn towards your partner instead of away and reignite the passion.
Beginning in January, I will be offering a free workshop open to singles, couples, and families called Secrets to Relationship Success.
Call (310) 404-3929 to sign up now.